Jeeves! Bring me my gun...

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2009-01-08 18:17:18

Last author: Delladreing
Owner: Delladreing

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^{*The sharp frost of the early morning covers the land in an iridescent sheen of beauty. In the midst of the landscape a tall and imposing manor house stands out, a man made mountain amongst the glorious peaks of nature.

Outside a horse awaits. Fully saddled and eager for the thrill of the chase, the rush of speed and the absolute freedom. It's hooves paw impatiently at the ground; great billowing clouds of steam form from it's mouth- it's very breath crystallising in the still and frozen air.

A figure emerges from the house, donning gloves. Leather boots creak as they crunch over the frost bitten ground. The rider moving swiftly, swinging up in to the saddle and taking a moment to compose their own excitement. The thrill of the chase is not restricted to beast alone.

Finally ready they turn round in the saddle and shout back towards the house, "JEEVES! BRING ME MY GUN!"

A tall wiry man dressed entirely in black emerges from the household, carrying with him an exquisite piece of mechanical beauty. The ultimate killing machine. The rider takes it from his offering hands, and loads the weapon. The sound is like glaciers grinding together in the still silence of the morning and yet at the same time exquisite and sends a shiver down the trembling spine.

*keerching*

The rider smiles, a slow demonic smile.

The butler does not wait to see the rider depart, already turning back towards the house in haste.

There is so much to prepare for when the Hunt is on.

Already the rider is a rapidly disappearing figure, riding in to the cold morning, with an even colder countenance to make the very depths of winter shiver in apprehension.*}

Ahhh. If only I really did have a butler called Jeeves. And a gun for him to bring me...from the vast and cavernous mansion from which I rule the world. For starters that would be the favourite part of my day.
And the world would be a better place.

I'll move to America where it seems to be the general idea that it's your God Given Right to own firearms. And then the preparation for the Purification can begin.

All I need is a good alibi and the ability to say "No officer I don't know anything about those missing people. It's truly tragic though...such a shame..."

And I'm only half kidding.

Oh my, how but a girl may dream. *sigh*

Anyhoo. Enough of my eugenics inspired day dreaming. What I hear you cry type, what can possibly be the cause of such fevered and whimsical fancy, so as to provoke me in to more flowery speech? Ahh dear reader let me tell you, let me tell you of mine new endeavor. It's not just paganism I'm defending these days.

This came about as a result of what can really only be identified as a flame war. I am no longer allowed to comment on wikis, in what may be considered an "harassing manner". It#s been three years since I was told to "leave them alone" so my invasion privileges may well be back. But regardless of whether or not I can take a fight to anothers wiki, I can still write my own. Freedom of speech and all that malarkey.

The topic that provoked this? False truths about religion. Oho you may call be a hypocrit now, for I know that in telling people they shouldn't write such things I enable you to turn the finger back on to me and say "Aha!" But before you even finish your exhalation of triumph you wont have that finger anymore. Say hello to "Stubby."

My reasoning as to why I can do this and why the majority of other peopel shouldn't is quite simple. Unlike the majority of people I know what I am doing. I put years worth of effort in to my projects. If I am unsure of something, I will not write about it. And I most certainly wont lash out at a religion with no other reason than "it sucks."

I wont mention the name of the wiki, but if you can imagine the generic "We hate God" fest that seems so popular with the disgruntled children of today, you get the general idea. So here we have, at last, my answer to many of their misguided misinformed statements. Enjoy.

"For all those people sick of Christianity!
Theres better ways to live your life!"

My first thought upon entering that wiki was "ooh how lovely, I see they have listed themselves as Satanists or pagans...how very hardcore of them..."

Promptly followed by:
-Recite me the black mass bitches.
-Name me all 161 Wiccan Ardanes.
-I am neither but I can tell you both.
-I bet I can even do it better than you.
-Neer neer I'm going to rip you a new one.

Further investigation of the members revealed to my utter astonishment, that the then fourteen year old leader of the pack was a High Priest of Lucifer. Wow thought I, how powerful he must be, to have obtained a rank that requires years, simply years of training to obtain. Oh what power he must wield to have become one so young. How very cool.

My eyesight was then assaulted by yet another image, this time advising anyone who cared to read it, that with:

"Parental Advisory-
You are living a lie, God is not real"

Well now I wasn't aware I needed my parents to be of the opinion that I was living a lie and that God wasn't real, but thanks for that, I'll go ask them right now if it's okay for me to read and have this "knowledge."

Oh and..aha...here's the kicker. Satanists...do believe in God.
They don't worship Him, oh no, but they do believe he exists. Because without him there would be no Devil. You know, Satan, the one you claim to worship. The angel Lucifer who decided to challenge God's authority in heaven and got kicked down to the curb so fast he hit like a meteor and created Hell. Yea, the Devil, your Anti-Christ. If Christ wasn't real, then how the heck can he be the Anti-Christ. RiddleAnswer me this.

You know what I think. I think someone didn't do their research.

And I really, really doubt that someone even had the guts to sell their soul to dear old Satan. I think someone thought it sounded "cool" but is really just too scared to tempt fate in case Hell really does turn out to be real, and well, who wants to go there amarite? I bet they even go to church on Sundays, protesting all the way that it's not fair, and telling their friends how the Priest forced them to take Holy Mass, while really, they were sitting there praying so hard to God just on the off chance that He thinks you're serious about worshipping the Devil.

Just to be on the safe side of things.

And then my eye was caught by a priceless little gem next to a member's name on the list.

"I am agnostic- but Satanism sounds neat!

For the record, when it comes to faith in humanity, there is a level bellow rock bottom.

I'd like to point out someone wrote on the member list next to all the bits after it "I am agnostic- but Satanism sounds neat!"
I think my point is made simply by that.

"All Christians are EVIL.

...coming from Satanists? My...divine being...my dear dear children -because that is exactly what you are- I think you have it wrong. Satanism - the kind you are referring to- is "evil", there's a reason for why no one likes you, other than the fact you are ugly, have no life and never will. It's because you are a twerp and don't know what the Hell you are talking about.

Also.

No, no they are not. I may not like Christian theology much myself, indeed I will argue with it a lot, but I am never going to turn around and tell someone "You are wrong to believe that, you are evil to believe that."

You little arrogant bastards. How dare you generalise people in such a way. Oh and by the by to the little "pagans" and "wiccans" on that list: what about all the stuff on your houses "ALL GODS ARE ONE GOD!" what about fucking religious tolerance...? The thing you claim to fight for.
So technically, technically, if all Gods are ONE GOD, and you don't believe in God, you do not beleieve in fundamental Wiccan theology. Therefore you are not what you believe yourself to be, therefore you do not exist! HAH!
*poof* begone.

Christianity is the reason for all religious conflicts.

...Yes...because the Jews werent being repressed by the Romans who had other Gods were they? No no, of course not, religious wars started and ended with Christianity, yup yup. Just like Wicca is the oldest religion in the world.

Everyone else but you is living a lie.

If there is any justice in the world you will either die now or you wont be able to procreate and the stupidity gene will end with you.

None of you hate God, you just want to, because then you have a reason for why your life sucks so much. And you know what, that whole "God can't exist because look at all the bad stuff in the world!"
Bullshit.
Bad things happen, its part of life.
What does not kill us makes us stronger,
and that which does leaves us dead so you wont be alive to bitch about it anway.

All that shit you whine about "Oh the world is such a horrible place, there cant possibly be a God."
GET UP OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS, STOP WHINING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT HELPING IT TO NOT BE SUCH A BAD PLACE!!
FUCK!
You people make me so angry.
"My life sucks"
Yea well you're not the only one, but you know what, instead of wallowing in self misery, pity and quite probably a few other things, do something about it.
Work at fixing your life.
No matter how bleak and meaningless it seems, it is because you have let it be that way.

And before you shoot at me "I have depression blah blah"
Big deal sweethearts so do I. So does just about everyone on the Internet. I've gone through some serious shit in my life, I whine I bitch I moan, but then I get over it. I make myself get on with life because no one else is going to do it for me.
If you really were that depressed and wanted to die, believe me, you'd have ended it long ago.

I don't blame my life on my Gods.
I know that things happen for a reason and I have grown to accept it. I have also accepted that if I want to fix things I need to do something about it. The image on the wiki of the dolly praying with the slogan "Pray all you want, no one is listening" how do you know?
How do you know that the divinity isn't listening to a thousand million million prayers of people begging for strength to carry on, for guidance. How do you know?
How do you know that you haven't been granted the strength to be so much more, but are just too afraid of too blind to see?
I sound like some religious quak, but you don't know.
How can you say God has never answered your prayers, when you don't know it because you refuse to see beyond the bleak world you have created for yourself where you are convinved you are unreachable.
Its not God you hate, its yourself and the world you live in.
But believe me, you can change it.

All the little "pagans" on there, readeth Playgans then decide if that is what you really are.
You are all so very young on that wiki, which is why I have refrained so much from tearing you apart, afterall, I can still hopefully warp and change your minds at such a young age into something which resembles "fit to be a member of society"

- Playgans

2005-12-18 [windowframe]: *le happy sigh* *hauntage*

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: Teehee *joins in the hauntageness*

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: Oh my God, I never get my own wiki coments first anymore because of you, and you *smirks at sequeena*

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: *le gasps in le shock* C'est moi? Non madmoiselle *le innocent whistle*

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: o.O *falls over laughing* you innocent is not a concept I can even comprehend

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: *le innocent blink* but of course!

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: Le jour vous êtes innocent est le jour je deviendrai un playgan

2005-12-18 [windowframe]: But it'd be sad if you got your own wiki comments to yourself.

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: Permettez-nous d'esperer ce jour-la jamais ne vient alors... Attendez j'ai juste dit que je ne suis pas innocent XD and I apologise for the lack of accents :p yes it would be sad and you know you love it

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: -snicker- This is a good wiki. As always, it is lovely to see you tear down those -cough- unspecified people from their lofty heights of angstiness. (I would have said this in French, but I don't know the word for angst. L'angste?)

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: Lol touche to all of you :p but meh, they might log on here in a minute as they are sniffing about my house...in which case I am el fucked

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: tristesse XD

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: Uh oh O_O *chains self to Dela* We're not going without a fight!

2005-12-18 [windowframe]: Not necessarily...

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: Well technically I am not...as the wiki and members have not been named...I was very...sure of that

2005-12-18 [windowframe]: I've seen people get away with making hate wikis about specific members - the wiki got deleted, but the member didn't get banned... And If they come here... well, it's your wiki. 'Nuff said, really. :)

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Hey, if you didn't name people, you're basically golden. Also this is a rant wiki. That other wiki is a persecution wiki. Right?

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: yup yup...im being so polite on that wiki its painful...its actually causing me physical pain O.O

2005-12-18 [sequeena_rae]: Hmm..Do I know of this wiki? XD doesn't matter I'll just sit here and look all dumb...Which isn't too far off from my real self =D

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Write a diary entry about it! Friends only! After all, it is a DIARY shared only with selected pals. Sorta. Wow, I'm in a weird mood today...

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Also...hey, in America, you have the god-given right to arm bears, that you do! (PTerry. Feet of Clay. Nobby got drunk.) Muaha. Or you could set Bigfoot on them...gotta love myths, don'tcha?

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: True true..but the thing is ive been in trouble for harasing wikis Ive never even Heard of. and the guards dont do real thorough work over here so its one more word against mine sorta thing ...

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: You know, if you have problems with that, you can tell me and I'll go there personally and look for comments from you. Then you'll have someone to vouch for you. It's no trouble.

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: *thumbs up* itd help, the problem with last time was, the only person who could back me up was a "known" trouble maker so i nasically had to endire the third degree and be nice about it o.-

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: I do my best not to make trouble.

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: *pets* i get in far too much

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: I just don't like confrontations. Except in the heat of the moment. And after the moment has died I get a guilt complex. -sigh-

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: Hehe I'm so lucky, I stopped having that :p

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: What, guilt complexes? I get them whenever I kill spiders, too. I love spiders. They're just so darn cute. The ones that are too small to bite I hold in my hands and coo over, the ones that are big enough to bite I still coo over but keep a safe distance because while I may be bonkers I'm not a masochist. Spider bites=OW.

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: ......*pets* shhhh dear its ok o.O

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Oh, I'm fine, don't have any at the moment. I get a few at camp, though. However I'm now able to go to a camp by Puget Sound (salt water) instead of by a lake, so mosquito bites this year are MUCH reduced. Good thing, too. My camp friend and I kept a tally at the lake camp...I ended up with 80-something and he had 70-something.

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: ...I was going to say "im so glad we dont have them here" but then I realised I live in scotland and that ='s midgies...little fuckers, i have no problem with squishing them

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: I squish mosquitos pronto. Spiders, however, I coo over and move to somewhere safe where people won't squish them. I cried when someone squished one in front of me once. It scared the bejeezus out of them. ^_^

2005-12-18 [Delladreing]: lmao aw bless

2005-12-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: It's pretty common knowledge that I'm a total loon...muaha. It means I get to scare people and do weird stuff and they'll just go, "Oh, she's a loon, that's about average for her." My hands are frickin freezing. Back in a mo.

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: fair enough dear

2005-12-19 [Fireblade K'Chona]: I tried putting on my sailing glvoes because they have no fingertips but I couldn't type because they're leather-reinforced...good for handling lines and tillers but not so good for fine motor. I need to buy myself some cheap gloves and cut the fingertips off because I can't type with full gloves.

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: ...or do what i do and rely on the fact that no matter how much you cant move them and that you should be worried over the colour of your fingers, continue to use them ;P

2005-12-19 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Oh, I already do that. But I'm a musician, so I really should be more careful...my harp probably doesn't like this weather much.

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: no probably not.........but you wont hear it "harping" on about it will you *chuckles* hehehehe oh god I couldnt resist XD

2005-12-19 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Del, methinks you're too sleep-deprived for your own good. ^_^

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: damn right

2005-12-19 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Course, so am I.

2005-12-19 [Raiff]: hehe

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: Raiff!! *glomps*

2005-12-19 [Raiff]: Dela! *smoochies*

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: wheeeee! how are you?

2005-12-19 [Raiff]: Tired mostly and next to no time for my favourite online people as usual

2005-12-19 [Delladreing]: ah never good :( *hugs*

2005-12-20 [I stabbith ye]: Twas an interesting read...funny as usual fiona lol ^_^

2005-12-20 [Delladreing]: thankee

2005-12-27 [Raiff]: *squuezies Dela* :-)

2005-12-27 [Delladreing]: ^_^ *hugs*

2005-12-27 [Raiff]: so what have i missed while ive been away *sob*

2005-12-27 [Delladreing]: hugs! *hugs more*

2005-12-27 [Raiff]: aw..

2006-07-23 [moonscale]: If you think trying to type with sailing gloves, try writing with wrist braces. I got carpatunel (no clue how to spell that) syndrome from typing to much. So guess what I do. I go on the computer and write 5 essays with those wrist braces on. Aren't I a genius?

2006-07-23 [Delladreing]: Yup :p

2006-07-28 [Raiff]: *lurks*

2008-01-01 [Fireblade K'Chona]: _{Jeeves was a valet.}

What? I didn't say anything? -innocence- This rant was just as funny as when I read it the first time! :P

2008-01-01 [Delladreing]: oh sure, SURE you didn't. And thank you :P

2008-01-01 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Well, I wasn't a Wodehouse fan when I met you. :P

2008-01-01 [Delladreing]: I appear to be the corrupting force on everyone on here :p

2008-01-01 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Yes, you completely corrupted me. Pratchett, Wodehouse, Wilde...does your depravity ever end? ^_^

2008-01-01 [Delladreing]: Never! :P

2008-01-01 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Oh, so you're just going to keep exposing me to excellent literature? Such depths of degeneracy! The shame! The horror! :P

2008-01-01 [Delladreing]: Its a tough job but someone's got to do it ;)

2008-01-01 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Out of random curiosity...what is loverape?

2008-01-01 [Delladreing]: Not a clue anymore :P

2008-01-01 [Fireblade K'Chona]: That implies you had a clue once.

2008-01-02 [Delladreing]: I think it was a term Squee made me aware of o.O

2008-01-02 [Fireblade K'Chona]: ...do we want to know, then? O.o

2008-01-02 [Delladreing]: Lmao XD

Erm, I shall leave that up to you.

2008-01-02 [Fireblade K'Chona]: She'll probably find these comments anyway. I'll leave it up to her.

2008-01-02 [Delladreing]: A very true point.

2008-01-02 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Hurrah for They Might be Giants!

2008-01-02 [sequeena_rae]: Do I sense jipping going on? :p

loverapists

2008-01-02 [Fireblade K'Chona]: ...wow. That's, um, special.

2008-01-02 [sequeena_rae]: Yep :p

2008-01-03 [Fireblade K'Chona]: -blinks a few times-

I...don't really have anything to say here.

2008-01-03 [sequeena_rae]: Good :p

2008-02-12 [Raiff]: Hmm?

2008-07-30 [Linn Scarlett]: Just don't believe in 'something' because you'll end up in a place with a big tennis-ball shooting machine like thing... or so says Douglas Adams. *sniggers* I recently tripped into the whole vampire/werewolf/cult-things scene again, not entirely sure how or why, but I did. And I randomly made friends with a bunch of idiots like those you just discribed (might actually be the same ones...) :3 Anyway, your rants horridly amuse me Dela ----and my boss and collegues have started taking up reading them over my shoulder XD

2008-07-30 [Delladreing]: Oh ehm...hello new people :P

2008-07-30 [Linn Scarlett]: *chuckles* I am still at work here, being frowned upon as I should actually be researching the difference between Oogoniens Americana and the european vision (...) but eh. I saw there were some pages I haven't read yet, so there. Sniggering all around here XD

2008-07-30 [Linn Scarlett]: Oh and I remember why I got back into the cult thing! DnD 4th edition is out, with spanky new redivisions of the Hell and Abyss. Seeing as I have my own campaign about Drow, I have a lot of digging into that stuff seeing as they are evil and all that misunderstood ( :p ) shait. *nods to herself* Jup, that must be it. And I was probably bothered and felt like bugging you :p

2009-01-31 [hanhepi]: "How can you say God has never answered your prayers"

the people who say that are idiots, and never stopped to concider that because just because it didnt go the way they wanted it to, that doesnt mean there wasnt an answer.. perhaps it meant the answer was "no". perhaps the answer was "dear me, this is a whiney bastard, why wont they shut the fuck up" (i dunno how god would say it, but i bet theres been simmilar thoughts in his/her mind.)

2009-02-01 [Cyrano meets Merso]: Kids have to much free time today... one day they are into Buddhism, the second they wicca, third day vampires, than their favorite singer says that Hindu is really radical so they try that... then suddenly some movie releases Archangel Gabriel with long hair and wings and they think that Christianity is da' bomb etc etc...

2009-02-02 [windowframe]: That's not a problem of having too much free time, it's a problem of not having enough independence to make up your own mind.

Number of comments: 89
Older comments: (Last 200) 4 3 2 1 .0.

Show these comments on your site

"For all those people sick of Christianity! Theres better ways to live your life!"

"Parental Advisory- You are living a lie, God is not real"

"I am agnostic- but Satanism sounds neat!

"All Christians are EVIL.

Christianity is the reason for all religious conflicts.

"For all those people sick of Christianity!
Theres better ways to live your life!"

"Parental Advisory-
You are living a lie, God is not real"